What Do You Want?


It’s funny how some of us decide to live our lives. We desire ‘A’ and yet go about doing everything that will ensure we don’t get it

For the ladies, you take pictures with your hips, boobs and butt as the key point of your every picture. Some also add the lips too; lips that has been doused with a huge amount of paint lipstick. But when you get objectified, you get angry and say stuff like “men are pervs”. The fact is this; guys like the boobs and butt BUT it’s not the kind of like you want. It’s a hit and run, ruff and tumble kind of relationship that you’re sure to witness. Most guys have erotic thoughts and for them you fit the bill; nothing more.

Just as there are wife materials, there are also one-night materials too. You don’t have to be in the latter category. Find your purpose, write a vision and run with it (It is not easy but it is possible). And please, marrying a rich man doesn’t count as a vision.

For guys, you can’t keep taking pictures of you in different exotic cars, or with different popular people, or in exclusive events and later on start screaming that “women are only after your money”. You see the next voluptuous lady and you lose control almost immediately. You bare your soul to her almost instantly and come back in few months lamenting how “women are wicked”.

Please understand, that my mission is not to condemn you, i’m simply not qualified as I am not without foolish errors and misgivings. I write to show you a view you possibly never knew existed or simply ignored.

In general, people come after you based on what you advertise most. And so if you keep attracting the same kind of people; people you don’t desire; you may have to look inward and make necessary changes.

But then again, we just hate truth and would rather believe a lie. It’s the only reason why a politician would read you promises of a lifetime he has planned for 4 years. The manifesto period turns into a case of “who can lie most”? Nigeria’s problems cannot be solved in 4 years because it is a deep rooted one in our minds that we must be willing to eradicate. Forgive my digression, I just had to go there.

Our problem is our mindset. We believe in the wrong things for the wrong reasons based on sentimental notions we have harbored for donkey years.

But not me, not anymore. I have decided to retrace my steps and follow the path less travelled. Would you join me?

The Seldom Heard Voice

what are word for?

what are word for? (Photo credit: Darwin Bell)

A real man should never hit a lady- no matter what she says or do, you can always walk away. It is wrong to batter a woman for whatever reason. That being established, I however want you to explore another side of the story (the less viewed);

Men sting with their fists by default; the effects of a fist can be clearly seen. The lumps on her face and the black eye make your stomach churn in violent shakings. It makes you wonder what devil would have done this but no, it’s a man just like yourself. And just as physical abuse is being somewhat dealt with, another menace more sinister is creeping up- its mental abuse (psychological abuse).

Women on the other hand sting with words by default. I fear this more because the effects of words are hardly seen until it’s often too late. The undiscovered cancer tumor is a replica of words some men receive daily. It keeps growing until it chokes out everything good in the relationship. Just because the injuries are not visible to the naked eye doesn’t mean they don’t exist. His ego battered and bruised daily by your incessant shooting of poisonous arrows you call words and yet you still continue. Then you blackmail him with “Real men don’t hit women”.

It’s not just about the male folk truth be told, if we’re equal  then women also have a part to play- as provocative and stupid are the things he does, you can correct him in love or walk away. As tempting as it is to insult his family tree, you can also hold your tongue. It ceases to be fair when you whip him emotionally and cry foul if he lays a hand on you.

And so the end is simple; Real men don’t hit women, Real women don’t insult men.